Imagine in the Suburbs

Imagine there's no housework.
It's not so easy, but try.

No vacuums or coupons,
No stale laundry to dry.

Imagine there's no status.
It isn't hard to do.
No PTA to pressure
and no yard work too.
Imagine all the families
having all they need.

You may say I'm a dreamer
To hope for a balanced life.
Maybe to stop the bickering
The criticism and the strife.

Imagine there's enough money,
and all the homework's done.
What would you do with your time?
If it was yours for fun?

Imagine all the people, 
Without any excuse
For avoiding their families
And saying mean things too.

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I think it can be done.
I hope someday you'll see that
And quit blaming everyone. (Including yourself.)

Happy Holidays!

Blessings disguised as weeds in the side-walk.

If your holiday involved trying to explain to Granny the difference between the electronic game Simon and Whack-A-Mole, you and I must be related. 

Hope your Holiday was loving and fun or at least safe. 

Remember, gratitude is the road to happiness so if you can't be grateful for your relatives, at least be grateful they don't live with you.  Unless they do, then be grateful that you have enough to provide for them too. 

If your neighbors don't shoot at you, be grateful.  

If you aren't on drugs, be grateful.  

If you can afford to replace the Simon that Granny hammered, be grateful.

Take a deep breath and let your shoulders down when you exhale.  Happy Holidays!

Anatomy of the Forever-Producing Lettuce Plant

Lettuce grows from the center like a dandelion.

Once lettuce is picked, its days are numbered.  If I don't make salad in those days, it has a new name: compost.

Lettuce in the ground (or container) lasts until I pick it or until the weather gets hot and it goes to seed.  What's more, in-the-ground lettuce can be harvested every few days JUST IN CASE I decide to make salad regularly.  

Lettuce wealth from just one plant.  Too bad money can't grow that way: one dollar, pay the bills all winter?

The anatomy of the lettuce is the secret to reaching lettuce wealth.  Think of it like a dandelion.  You can chop the...

The Little Vegetable That Could - live through anything

Here's the lettuce on the third day of 20-something weather.


Here's the lettuce after it thawed that day...

Gifts for Hip Crips

My Roomba might be the best purchase I ever made.  On days when I have a cold/flu (like today) or MS makes me feel and look like a bag of wet cement, it makes me happy.  When I drag my loser self out of bed, my house is clean.  At least it's clean down low where I am.

So if you have a handicapped friend or relative and you don't actually want to do daily maintenance for them, Roomba is the gift that keeps on giving.  Yeah, it's expensive.  But if you order now you also get a slight guilt-free credit as if you did chores for them and another credit for spending a lot of money on them. 

Here are a few less expensive items for the hip and crip:

A gnarly awesome...

Easiest Antique Style Christmas Ornaments Ever

Probably not much has changed in two hundred years.  The boys love these.  We don't get all the Christmas stuff out of the attic, but we have to keep searching until we find them.  There must be battles.  Brigades. Marches.  Capture the candy cane.  I made these in high school or maybe college.  I don't know where I got the idea.  As always, you can benefit from my mistakes.  Here are the steps:

How I Became The Herb Lady

Lemon balm.  From the web. DK who's it is.

How I became the Herb Lady:

A junior high school field trip took us to a historic house with a tiny garden.  In hindsight, the garden was pretty small and not too creative but the tour guide seemed impressed with it.  After the tapestries made of human hair and the architecture lecture she took us out back and pulled off pieces of the plants to pass around.

The entire back yard was a bare...

Robot Results

Check out the cute folder. 

In case you were wondering, the boys did pretty well at their First Lego League robotics competition Saturday.  The rankings I saw after the third round had them 6th out of 24 teams up through the ninth grade.  They didn't get any penalties.

They were as young as kids are allowed to compete and had the fewest team members: two.  A lot of people came over to watch since they are so young and didn't have any big kids to help them.  No prizes this time though.

What to Plant in December

Microgreens will grow in December.

Peace, Love and Harmony.

Otherwise, don't plant anything.

Things that take a long time, like habeneros, will need to be planted now.  If you own a greenhouse in the Southeast and you aren't taking the winter off, plant some chives.

Caley's Culinaries (a.k.a. Caley's Kitchen Garden) has always grown edibles.  I don't know roses or hostas.  I'm the herb lady.

Truth is, over the next couple days it is perfect weather for planting...

Robots This Weekend!

I haven't forgotten my duties in garden education.  I've just been following Winston Churchill’s advice and doing some different work to keep from getting burned out.

The Fall semester is winding down and this weekend the boys compete in the First Lego League robotics competition at Gwinnett Environmental and Heritage Center.  Our team is named Lego Farm, in case you come to watch.

The competition is for ages 9-14.  My guys are 9.  The teams can have...

Make Magic Happen

This year: Carrot magic again!

Two years ago: carrot magic

You would think my son invented the word "Magical" the way he bestows it with such authority.  The orange blossom soap should go in his sock drawer so his socks will, "Smell magical."  He's joking, but not really.

The lemon tree is "magical."  He gave a lemon to his friend as a birthday gift.  The kid was thrilled.  A real lemon from the real lemon tree.  Magical.

He's not just trying out a new word.  Some things are special, magical.  We collide with more of those things than most folks do, but it's not just chance.

My sister nurtures a resentment about it, complaining when we were younger (and older) that I would get "cool jobs" and win at Monopoly.  She's getting over it as she realizes how the magic is made...

Walking Dead Container Garden

Zombie needs her roots done.

I'm Baaack!  Like a bad Chucky doll.  Or a zombie from The Walking Dead.

A series of fortunate events had my friend Lisa and I without plans for Thanksgiving, so I made her an offer:  If she would drive from the beach where she lives, to my house in GA, I'd find where they film The Walking Dead.  TV isn't my thing and slasher movies less so, but Lisa has different taste. She was in the car within minutes.

Yes, this is a gardening post.  If you are looking for zombies on a holiday bring a shovel.  A holiday is probably the only day you would be able to dig up...

Get Centered

Photo: Ashmont Landscaping & Lawn's FB

It's hard to find the center that balances me when the weather is cold and rainy, I am too tired to bake cookies and I don't have a warm, humid greenhouse to retreat into.

Today... I will...

Drive-Through Autopsies for Chickens

The cosmos realigned today.  Remember from the Eagles post that I am a magnet for bizarre experiences?  The kids asked me if today was the weirdest.  For sure, it is in the running.

It's been a tough month for our pets, then this morning I found White Out the hen deceased inside the chicken door of the coop.

I waited hours before I told the kids.  They felt we needed an autopsy.  Although she may have died of trauma (remember the hawk from earlier in the week?) getting a certain diagnosis would be a relief.

Baby A (the older twin) found what we needed.  He chose the Backyard Chickens website because it sounded more personal.  A sweet glimpse into the arrangements he'll make for me one day.  As he followed the links to the Georgia Poultry Lab and discovered it wasn't far from us he added, "Oh good.  There is an address where you mail the chicken."  Hmm.  Maybe I'll make my own arrangements for the afterlife?

What are the odds the state poultry testing center would be 12 miles from my house?  The boys handed me a garbage bag, reminded me to wear gloves (twice) and...

Root Almost Anything And Get In Harmony With Nature. In 3 Paragraphs.

The quick and easy secret to rooting (propagating) almost anything is to put the cutting in a clear glass with water (somebody will ask that) in a sunny window when the day lengths are getting longer.

Even woody plants will usually root using this method.  Soft stemmed plants will...

Not-Your-Neighbors' Christmas Tree

It's a lemon tree!

And a key lime tree!  They are big and pretty and I have seen and sold a bunch at my garden center so I can tell you with authority - these are beautiful!  As beautiful as any ever bought for less than $200.

I'm still trying to get good pictures of them, but I promised I would share my awesome gardening find.  It's a lemon tree and a key lime tree!

If you have never smelled a citrus flower, you can't imagine the olfactory euphoria that awaits!  You will never want to breathe out again.

These beautiful trees have numerous clusters of flowers opening too.

We plan on...

Cricket Effect

There is a cricket with a special flair for acoustics in my garage.  For all the world, it sounds like three crickets if it weren't for the impossible synchronisation of the chirping and more specifically the breaks in the chirping.

It brought me to wondering how I can make my output triple with the same amount of work.

But I can't tell you today because I've had no sleep.  There was a herd of crickets in my garage keeping me awake all night.

Eagles Pics For Wordless Wednesday

A really nice person named Susan emailed some...

Eleanor Roosevelt And The Hawk

Redneck tomato cage

In Eleanor Roosevelt’s autobiography (get ready, she really liked to write) she recommends getting the house specialty at every restaurant.  The people who work there know what's good, so believe them.

Here's your inside tip from a farmer (me): wash the root crops.  Really well.  Carrots.  Potatoes.  Onions.  Things that grow under the ground are root crops and especially if they are organic, they grow in compost.  You know what that's made of, right?

In fact, just wash all the vegetables.  YES!  WASH THE ORGANIC veggies!  They are fertilized with poo and fish guts.  The organic pesticides are made from...

Take A Churchill Break

Don't know what it is, but it's willing to grow!

"A change is as good as a break."   That's what Winston Churchill said.  And then he took up painting.  And bricklaying.  And other stuff.

Let's get back to the garden.

Strange things have been happening in the garden.  The beet seedlings are fading like my engineering career after college.  They completely don't seem to understand that I have planted them into a place where they should thrive.  I've been there, beets.  Some things just don't work.  I might be one of them.

Some seedlings ARE sprouting in the place where the beets were transplanted.  I don't know what they are, but they look like something with tough leaves.  Maybe broccoli or kale.  That's the same bed where the artist previously known as parsley sprouted.  Turns out it was cilantro.  I should probably keep a record of what I've planted.  Or tried to plant.  That's what happens when you dump all the old seeds from the cabinet into the garden.  A lot of guess-the-seedling games.

I had resigned myself to an entire bed of cilantro and was trying to think of a food that would benefit from its special dirty-dishwater flavor when...Seems cilantro sprouts ...

Motivational Monday

Start by doing anything.

And you will get something.

Grab the day and make it what you want it to be.

It's motivational Monday.  Another chance to start out on the right foot.  Another chance to tame those problems.  We will not call them problems today.  Today they are just items on a list that need to get taken care of.

The storm woke me up at 3 a.m. and despite taking the sleeping medication, I am still awake.  It's 5:30 now.  No point in going back to bed.  So I heated up some day-old tea and grabbed a ring pop out of the Halloween candy still on the stairs.  You see, on Motivational Monday, whatever steps are needed are taken to set the tone for the week.

And maybe I should get back to plant stuff?  Lest you think I live a blessed existence, I'll share a little of what I'm up against right now:

The Rest of the Story...Button

The button to find the rest of any given blog post is in the lower left-hand corner of the blurb.  It says:  Read More... in blue

This post does not continue, but most of them do and a lot of the questions people send are answered in the second half of the story they refer to, so I know they didn't get there.

Questions are important!  You won't know if you don't ask - just like getting a raise!
So leave as many questions as you can think of below!

Glenn Frey and Timothy B. Schmit Are In My Garden. Not. Darn.

Remember how Nature Loves Lazy Gardeners?  Well, lets hope Google loves lazy bloggers too.
Did you miss me?  Did you notice I was gone?  It hasn't really been that long, it just feels like a lifetime.

This adventure will be with me for a long time.  Forever, like when that state trooper took my road kill home for himself.  But this one is stunning in a good way.

I haven't even checked the garden.  I guess that's on the list for today.  Meanwhile, back on the Island, Gilligan... went to an Eagles concert in Knoxville.  That's where I've been.  If you can get tickets you should totally go.  I bought the VIP package.  Didn't need that 401k anyway.  Tickets in the second row!  Oh, it gets better.  Wayyyy better...
You know how sometimes at a concert the singer will call somebody out of the audience and get them up on stage?  Keep dreaming folks.  I'm not that cute.  But...

What To Plant In November!

This is not a garden plant.

Snow is on the way for many people, limiting what you can plant in November.

You should all move South.  Just for the winter.  You wouldn't like the summers here.

Yesterday I cleared one 4x8 bed of luffa vines.  It must have frosted again on a day when it wasn't expected, because sure as shootin' my basil plant in the garden is all the way dead now.  The basil plants on the porch are ok.  They will be known from now on as the basil plants in the house.

I piled on some old grass clippings and turned it over (the garden, not the basil.)  I dug deeply enough to bring up clay with each shovel full.  

Then I planted...

Get Some Sun

Things.  Happen.  Or get stuck and don't happen.  Progress doesn't always get made.  But waiting for progress takes time and during that time stuff continues to grow: the carrots, the weeds, the kids.

So today, step away from all those things that are clogging the pipeline and walk into the area where things grow - without you if you are waiting on progress.

You Are Good - Just Compare

Have you barb-wired the perimeter and started keeping pigs in the front yard?   Then you are still fine.
p.s. I didn’t think of this – it really happened.

One of the proven ways to become happier is to compare yourself to people who are not as well off as yourself.  It's called the Social Comparison Theory.  It sounds kind of shallow but we all do it, on purpose or not.  So, just wallow in it guiltlessly every once in a while.

Here are more from my experience:

Was the Dehydrator a Good Purchase?

Pretty View

Oh yes!  The dehydrator ran almost continuously for a week after it arrived.  I have two, quart-sized baggies of dried tomatoes and one of peppers.  

Success came early when the recipe I had hoped to recreate was recreated and DELISH!  It's the new go-to recipe because it only involves three prep steps:

A Tasty Way to Eat Squash- For Real

This is not squash soup because I ate all the squash soup.

Breakfast today was an orange, but I really, really wanted it to be Halloween candy.  

Last night was squash soup and asparagus.  It was really good.  I wasn't expecting it to be so good.  So good, that by dinner time there was not enough soup.  Nobody in the family really wanted to try it anyway, so I ...

Raised Bed Garden in Two Hours!

Here are some fast, easy, cheap raised bed instructions:  http://www.hometalk.com/2460055/raised-garden-bed-for-winter-plants



The third bed back in this picture...

Happy November!

Happy November!

You sure can!  Plant stuff in November.  It's time to start watching the weather though.  In most of the "South" the first frost is around Halloween and we've had ours.

When you plant in the late fall and winter, you need to look for a few days of warm temperatures and if you aren't going to water - some rain.

If you have those on the horizon, feel free to plant any of the items in the September and October planting schedules.  

Check back for regular instalments of the November planting guide!

A Big Garden Is Like A Big House

I should thank the deer for alleviating my guilt.  I believe this winter is going to be a cold one and I remember when it snowed a few years ago.  The deer broke through the protective covering over the broccoli and ate everything.  In hindsight, it saved the broccoli from being abandoned completely and it gave me an excuse to quit gardening in the  cold weather, which was going to happen anyway.

A big garden is like a big house, except you can't hire someone to clean it as easily.  If you want a life outside of weeding...

Happy Halloween!

The chicken dressed up for Halloween.

BOO!
Happy Halloween!   

Here's a picture of Melissa from Indigo Bath and Body.  It's not every day you get to see a cute ghoul on a tractor!  They make really good soap too!

In case you've been busy, or in a funk like mine, here is how to cook that Halloween pumpkin: How to Cook Pumpkin

The mum dressed down for Halloween.

Then a multi-use tasty recipe (that's not pie) to use the pumpkin mush: Pumpkin Cake, Cookies, Everything

Real plant info for gardening: What To Plant In October

And then some silly posts to make you laugh:

Hmmm...I'll get right on that.

Fundraiser (Party)

I did not make this or take this picture.

I'm going to this event this weekend: Potluck for Peace.  If you have a heart, you should come too.

One of the hostesses, Hollis Gillespie, is an old, dear friend.  Or not, but I do know her and it's a good cause.  Sometimes you need to pay it forward.  Sometimes you need to repay the karma bank.  Either way, bring your brownies to get your brownie points at this fundraiser on November 2.

If you don't, you will need to leave a message for me on the Facebook page to arrange a time to weed the lettuces we are growing for the North Gwinnett Co-op (food bank.)  If you don't pay the Karma bank for your transgressions, Instant Karma's gonna get ya.

Dove..Rhymes With...Shove

As a warning to my future self?

I'm starting to come out of a two day funk.  Maybe a four day funk for those that had to put up with me, but a two day funk for me.

Even chocolate didn't help.  In fact, it just made me mad.  The Dove caramel filled chocolates have awful fortunes on them.  The Dove milk chocolates  say things like, "You are the star for which all nights await."  Awesome.  Whatever woman wrote that really knew what to say to a friend in a funk.  

The caramel filled Doves where written by a guy with a cliché thesaurus. Example: 

"Hey, why not?" - Maybe they should go ahead and say, "Hey y'all!  Watch this!"  In Columbia, South Carolina...

Save the Tom Toms! Freeze Warning!

Me mum is from the frozen North.  Michigan.  It's near the North Pole.  Just kidding.  If it was near the North Pole the summer would be long enough for tomato plants and theirs wasn't.

She told me a trick for continuing to get tomatoes after winter has come.  I tried it last year on a very limited scale and it worked in a very limited way.  I don't remember what exactly went wrong, but it involved my lazy negligence.  I remember that part.

This year I am going to try saving tomatoes on a much bigger scale, mostly because I have a much bigger tomato-again harvest to save.  (FYI: tomato-again harvest is the one you get from indeterminate tomato plants as the summer wears on and they look like grasshopper poo but keep producing.)

Mom's method, that her family used successfully every year as she grew up was to...

Dehydrator Dinner - "Sun" Dried Tomaotes

There was a restaurant in Memphis called Ciao! that had this delicious entree with sun dried tomatoes, a lot of olive oil and chicken.  I was trying to recreate that oh-so-tasty dish with my newly dehydrated tomatoes. 

Yummy!  It worked!  (How often do you hear that?)  Restaurant quality dinner for the whole family was made from one chicken breast, a handful of dried tomatoes and green peppers, a clove of garlic and half a bag of egg noodles.  Topped it with Parmesan cheese.  Here's the recipe:...

Let's Talk Tea

Let's talk tea.  If you serve tea but don't drink it, this is important so keep reading.  Most of anybody in the whole world is not as fanatical about tea as me.  I understand you don't give a rat's hindquarters about those flowering teas that open in the clear teapot.  Those are scary, for real.

Sweet tea.  Is a food that should...

Chickencatraz Update

We're Out!!

The boys didn't have to wait long to chase down the escapees again.  The eight-foot fence didn't do a thing to keep the chickens contained.  They lined up like planes on a runway, diagonally across the pen to get the longest acceleration.  The celebratory squawk and flap could be heard from inside the house each time a hen was liberated.

I don't know why...

Check Out The Drunken Botanist!

The squirrels aimed well, but my avoidance tactics were better.  I made it to the table of sharp-cornered new books and surveyed the choices.  Then I went to meet the author.

Amy Stewart, one of the writers behind the popular Garden Rant blog I have guest posted on.  She has just released: The Drunken Botanist on Algonquin Books.  If you like eating and drinking the same boring food everyday, this book is NOT for you.  This book covers plant uses and combinations to add a little zip to your mix.

One of her older titles drew me in though: Wicked Bugs.  Nothing says "mother of boys" like a middle aged woman buying a book about bugs that aren't garden and house pests just creepy crawleys that are creepy. It's a great motivator for boys to read and unlike the 'Diary of...' books, all homonyms are really the correct word they should be.  I'm sure I knarled the grammar up explaining that, but you get it, right?  They kids can learn the correct spelling and word usage by reading.  I like that.  We are past the days when my goal is just to get them to hold a book or read anything.  Wicked Bugs has real science material along with correct word usage.  Amy Stewart is out to win the heart of every mother of a boy who hates to read.  

Now there is even a traveling educational exhibit of Wicked Bugs.  Awww.  They are so cute.

You have not missed the opportunity to thank this lovely author or get her to sign your copy!  She is in Atlanta again today and here is a link to other dates on her book tour!

Growing Money Plan: First Harvest

Bugs ate the first crop. #2 is doing well!

Today I harvested the first vegetables from the Growing Wealth Plan!  The mixed greens made three salads.  I have a big, ripe tomato too and some green bell peppers.  A HUGE bell pepper is hanging off the end of the patio.  It will be red soon.

These salads would have...

Our Costumes Aren't Ready Yet

Cinderella's Carriage

A giant pumpkin is sitting on my patio.  I passed it this morning and my stomach dropped.  I am an unfit blogger and they my ban me from the internet if I don't start posting Halloween decorations.

This pumpkin was (is) going to be Cinderella's carriage.  I carved one in college for the pumpkin carving contest and lost but got on the front page of the college newspaper.  Fat lot of good it did me in college when I needed the coat and the grocery gift card.

But THIS TIME it was going to bring me more page views and Pinterest followers.  Except it's not done and I got a Pinterest email two days ago called "Last Minute Halloween Ideas."  

Isn't Halloween next week?  Last minute is sending your 4-year-old trick-or-treating in his camouflaged warm-ups with...

Luffa Sponge Pizza

I made luffa sponge pizza Friday and again tonight.  Friday's was better.  I hope it wasn't just beginner's luck, because I plan on making it again.  It was good.

I grew the tomatoes, pureed them and cooked them into a paste that I used for Friday's pizza.
Today's pizza was the same tomatoes, pureed and cooked to a sauce rather than a paste.  Go with the ...

Flip-Repotted The Growing Money Salad

The flip-repot technique.

There was a little turbulence with the lettuce.  The soil sank to a level that made it hard for the lettuce to get enough light and the plants stretched.  It's not a fatal problem like the caterpillars.  In about 5 minutes it was fixed, but it took a week to recover.

First, I found...

Garden Rant

Have I told you all I have another article on Garden Rant?

Well, I did and it's funny so you should read it.  It's about people stealing things from my garden.  Yeah.  Produce theft.  That's hilarious.  I'm not sure.

Here's the link: Vegetable Thief Master Class  

Vegtables in 7 Days!

Microgreens should be in your winter plans. 

They can be grown indoors so quickly that you won't kill them before they are ready to eat.

Since they can be grown inside, it doesn't matter if you live in a high-rise or a cold zone.

They are nutritious and provide a connection to gardening that can keep you sane.

I've written about them before, so check out the more extensive article: Microgreens! Vegetables in 7 Days!

The YouTube video is very popular too: Grow Microgreens! Vegetables In 7 Days!

Get some groceries in 7 days!  Well, 10-14 days if you keep them cold.

Really, you won't believe how much better you feel when you eat fresh, home-grown vegetables in the middle of winter.

What To Plant In October!

Plant some LETTUCE already!

CILANTRO!

Lettuce plant some cilantro and dill.  Lettuce plant some broccoli and turnips.  Lettuce plant some royal oak leaf lettuce, tatsoi, mizuna and red romaine. (Red romaine will happily grow in the lawn.  Ask me how I know.)  Lettuce plant some Lola Rosa Lettuce! Lettuce! Lettuce!  Plant some already!

It's such a great time of year to plant.  You can go out in the sun without becoming a crispy critter.  It rains often enough that watering is minimal.  Even if you just go out into the rain and throw seeds onto the garden, they will usually come up.  We'll get back to that in a minute.


It's also a great time to find free organic matter to add to your garden.  Leaves are THE BEST.  If you suck them up with the lawn mower, they will be chopped into smaller pieces.  Smaller pieces mean faster composting.  I just dump them straight unto to garden and turn them under.  Ain't Nobody Got Time For That composting stuff.


There is one sneaky vegetable that...

Dehydrator Débâcle

Drying.  Fewer burns than canning.

"Just go out and buy a dehydrator."  That is what I recommended.  I don't get out much.

Dehydrators are not available in stores.  Now they have juicers and food savers.  (Does anybody else get creeped out by hunks of red meat vacuum-sealed in plastic?  I'm the only one?  That's fine.  Just asking.)  

But garlic chicken with sun-dried tomatoes over pasta is on my winter list.  My Sunday Winter list.  With a dehydrator, I can make lemon grass tea!  Hot pepper flakes!  Christmas gifts!  I will save money!  I must have a dehydrator.

The link to buy one is in the right column.  That is where I got mine.  You can order them online or special order them, but don't expect to, "just go out and buy one."

The tomatoes have been staring longingly at the link.  They are practising their, "What's a nice dehydrator like you doing in a place like this?"

I ordered extra...